Payday Advance Loans

Payday advance loans are the cure to any thing that ails you. Find out why today.

Payday Advance Loans - Feel The Heat

You've got the cash-needin' disease!

Got the shakes? Vomiting colorless bile? Sweating and impotent and weigh 90 pounds? Strange blotches on your face and arms? Sounds like you need drugs. And fast. But you're going to need money first. It's either break in to someone's house and steal or go down and beg for a payday advance. Your check from moving boxes back and forth at the warehouse doesn't come in for another seven hours. You're a-twitching and a-shaking, and there is no end in sight. You might kill somebody just for their pocket change if you don't get some narcs into your brain quick. The world can be a tough grueling place. Why face it sober? Get payday advance loans and get yourself good and loaded and ready to face the day.

Payday advance loans - makin' it real

With payday advance loans you can say goodbye to withdrawl without the burden of petty theft. No more jumping out of windows or posing as a moving man or electrician. No more creeping around outside windows all night and trips to the pawn shop to hawk stolen goods. With payday advance loans you won't have to sand down the serial numbers on stolen handguns, and with an online payday advance you don't need to leave the confines of your soiled bed. Rejoin society, sort of. Become debt-ridden and trapped by financial obligations to your lame job which you have to get high to work up the nerve to go to every morning. Thanks to payday loans you can get money fast and blow two weeks' salary in one night on your addiction. Imagine the joy awaiting you. We think you owe someone a heartfelt thank you: we're talking about the inventors of payday advance loans. Us.

You're welcome.

Largess and glory with payday advance loans

Life is grand once you're fully entrenched in the accumulated debt and lending fees that comes with payday advance loans. Ask anyone and they will tell you that they love debt more than they love drugs, and drugs more than they love their fathers. And if a payday advance loan gets you anything, it gets you debt. Lots of it. Oh, the splendor! You borrow the equivalent of your paycheck, then you owe that amount (your next paycheck) plus a lending fee, which is a flat fee and can be around $20 per every hundred you borrow. But you keep your check, roll over your loan and simply pay the fees again, and again, and again, and again. Suckers! No way will you pay it all off at once! What that means of course is that you will never get out of debt unless you win the lottery. So keep buying those scratchers every day - compulsive buying will get you in the habit for when you're getting lots of payday advance loansand feel a little anxious for doing it.

The time for payday advance loans

Boy is it a good time for payday advance services and the instant payday loans you so desperately seek. The industry is booming which means your lenders are in a better mood and more likely to cut you a better rate when it comes to interest on your bad credit payday advance. You're lucky. You always have been lucky. Take that luck and go grab some online payday loans today. Tomorrow may be to darn late, what with Washington getting its greedy hands on the industry and placing regulations on who can borrow and how much. Bureaucratic jerks, always jamming their thumbs right into the warm centers of our money pie. But we have the Internet! That unregulated sea of financial freedom where we can all get a payday advance online and revel in the beauty of our own self-indulgence without debauched addendums oozing outward from somewhere beyond Bethesda! We shall rise as one and say with a common voice "you shall not delete my no fax payday advance freedoms!"


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